mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
