tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
