Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Randomize
