Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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