I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
