Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
Randomize
