Nicole vs. Life
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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