ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
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