You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
