I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
