You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
