is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
you didnt know i had herpes?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
