We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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