new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
