hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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