It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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