Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
