The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
there is glitter all over my balls
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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