for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
