I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
