Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize
