He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
