so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
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