I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Drunk is not a location!
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
Randomize
