BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I'm both gender and math confused
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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