We're like a lot better than the average bears
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
bring money and cleavage
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
