In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
