i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
