I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
