Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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