dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
third nipple confirmed
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
