He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
