So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
