I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
