I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
