You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Maybe he injected his testicle?
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