I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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