Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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