You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Randomize
