that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
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