If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
