he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
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