She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
