I've blown a few things in my day
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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