dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
