Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
