This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Randomize
