Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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