Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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