so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
